2 x Truffle ceremony with Marcel as a depression treatment and against my anxiety
I tripped with Marcel twice in the past couple of weeks. I have been suffering from clinical depression and anxiety for the past 6 years , ever since I got bullied by some male coworkers. So, I had serious paranoia about using psychedelics as well as tripping with a strange male trip sitter in Amsterdam (as I had gotten really shocked and afraid because of my previous experiences with strange men while abroad). Marcel got in touch as soon I texted him inquiring about trip sitting for my depression, and kept in touch with suggestions about supplements to use before tripping etc. We had tentatively figured out a date for the trip as well , and he had been super patient with my fears and concerns about doing it. Except for one thing – even though he tried to encourage me , the day before my trip , I had a major panic attack about what I was doing , cancelled my appointment and simply left town. He still didn’t get mad at me, or annoyed , or complain that I wasted a day for him or that he might have lost money etc. He followed up within a week or more to ask how I was doing. I was still contemplating what to do (as my depression has really been long running at this point) and then decided again to try it, preparing for all the things that could go wrong in my head.
Anyway, this time I made an appointment with him again – and managed to keep it in spite of my panic. He ended up being a super sweet and patient guy , and tried to settle my fears. I felt totally safe and comfortable, and it ended up being a really fun trip and a great first experience. His tea was pretty good and just relaxed me ( which is pretty much what I needed ). My anxiety has dropped by over half ever since that trip, so seems like truffles definitely helps with calming you down. My depression symptoms are still around, which is why I decided to do a second trip within a week, but for whatever reason that trip didn’t go as well for me. Marcel had asked me to wait for a couple weeks himself. I also didn’t use his tea for this one – just the truffles. I had spoken to other trip sitters, who said the gap didn’t matter so much , because of which I proceeded. I have just learned that many users can have a dip in mood for a week or two after the use of psychedelics, and I have a feeling that must have been the case with me as well. So I think I should have waited until I was in a better frame of mind. My only issue was that I wish he had been a bit more aware that some people might feel a dip in mood after a trip and there are supplements that can help with that. But I think perhaps no one trips as close together, so maybe it doesn’t affect others as much. However, he respected my boundaries even while I was having not as good a trip. His emergency sugar drink helped end it sooner. He also drove me back home so I wasn’t wandering around in public transport feeling not so great. I felt totally safe during my trips and knew he could be relied upon.
So, I pretty much chose to trip with Marcel because he was patient, understanding and a caring and trustworthy person – he handled the situation well even when I went off the rails a bit. That really reassured me and mattered a lot to me. Plus, I truly appreciated that he didn’t judge me for my paranoia and understood my hesitations about being around a male trip sitter after my traumatic experience. He tried to , in his own way I think, make me a bit more comfortable around strange men again and I do appreciate that. I only think that he should also focus on post-trip supplements as much as pre-trip ones ! But I would trip with him again, and definitely use his tea over just plain truffles !