I just had my second psychedelic trip. Marcel was my guide like the first time. 

After drinking the tea, I felt some nausea but I knew it would go away, and Marcel gave me some peppermint oil, smelling it helped.

Maybe the effect started more gradually then the first time. 

 I got a lot of thoughts about technology, how it manifests both the beauty of nature and the community of people, our needs, rules and communication.

I saw the mathematics in everything. At first I saw the mathematic symbols written all over, like to make it clear to me, but then I just experienced it without these signs, organically.

I was flying around in space and it was so beautiful. Or maybe I was part of the space.

I was involved in many conversations with people. It was for example about listening and even changing one’s own opinions or actions on the basis of conversation, even if somebody else would get disappointed because of that. It’s maybe good for them to get disappointed, or even if it isn’t, it’s still ultimately their responsibility handle it.

I was in the forest with my mother and aunts. We knew we would all one day die and continue in the circle, and we were perfectly fine with that. I thought about the color green, it’s the color of life and death, they are the same.

I thought about my father, who died 13 years ago and I first thought ”When he still lived, I hope I have known what I know now”, but then I understood, that he knew. I got sure he knew for both of us, so I don’t have to ruminate on that.

I cried a lot, of joy. But I think I cried less than the first time. The reason was maybe, that this time I was even deeper present in the experience, I was so absorbed that I even ”forgot” to cry constantly. Last time I was repeatedly telling Marcel that I felt ” too much happiness”, I was like a tiny bit scared to completely disappear and get disconnected because of getting so happy. Now, I feel I could handle better the blissfulness.

The trip was deeply meaningful experience and Marcel took very good care of me.